PhilosophTay

It’s February 2015 and Kanye’s back on the radar after a long hiatus. Gone is the abrasive, industrial sound of Yeezus. Instead he’s making pretty little ditties with the help of Paul McCartney: first Only One and then FourFive Seconds with Rihanna. Album-hype is building. No hints on the name yet but we’ve been told it’s “80% done” and that it’s gonna be “cookout music.” Naturally, we’re expecting more of the same from his BRITs performance. It’ll push the boundaries – sure – but it’ll be gentle, wholesome even. These people were listening to a weepy Sam Smith ballad before this! They were watching Ed Sheeran hum and slap his guitar! These poor people are sitting  cabaret-style!  And in comes Kanye with that distorted bass and those flamethrowers. Even Taylor Swift is left wide-eyed and slack-jawed. ************************* Far from being a modern aberration, getting money has been a concern since time immemorial. Even philosophe...

Let me describe to you my dream piece of philosophy. It’s not too long. Ideally fewer than three pages, though up to five is okay as long as every word is necessary. The title is something I read quickly, then read again more slowly. It makes me say ‘What’s all this about then?’ under my breath. The piece itself is technical but not tedious. The implications are wide but the focus is tight. There’s a nice juicy example. It’s got a sense of danger to it and an element of suspense. It reads almost like a detective story. By the time it’s over the point of the example is obvious, but the implications are spelt out anyway. This is done with a kind of quiet swagger, detectable only through a few italicised words. And it’s a slam dunk . There are no possible ifs and no possible buts, no assumptions undefended or questions unanswered. It’s not so much a line in the sand as a crack in the earth. You can’t ignore it or undermine it. Your only choice, should you encoun...

Philosophers talk a big game when it comes to questioning things. They tell us that philosophy is a place where nothing is settled and everything is up for grabs. They like to think of themselves as the stubborn child all-grown-up, still asking ‘Why? Why? Why?’, long after the parents have thrown in the towel. The cardinal sin is the assumption unexamined, the question unasked. So they keep asking and asking, spurred on by the hope that one day they’ll uncover the truth. Truth has been the goal ever since the beginning. “‘Then who are the true philosophers?’, he asked. ‘Those whose passion is to see the truth.’”  – Plato,  The Republic “Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth.”  – Henry David Thoreau,  Walden “To love truth for truth's sake is the principal part of human perfection in this world, and the seed-plot of all other virtues.”  – John Locke, Letter to Anthony Collins  “Plato is my friend, Aris...

As soon as he sticks the arm out, you know this thing has been rehearsed. I mean, of course it’s been rehearsed. It’s  Kanye . He’s been practising for this moment in front of bathroom mirrors since he was thirteen-years-old. His very first Grammys and his very first Grammy, off the back of his very first album. You know how it goes. Start with the throwaway line. First impressions might be everything but a speech is something you ease into. You gain nothing by catching your audience by surprise. And the throwaway is something you can’t mess up. You’re just warming up here. Speak slowly. Especially at the beginning. You’ll speed up naturally as you go along so adjust for that now. Weigh your words and savour the silences. It’s the silences that mark the difference between a speech and a lecture. Make it personal. This is your moment after all. But give your audience something to chew on too – a secret, a lesson, a shout-out. It wouldn’t be much of a momen...

Imagine you hit the EuroMillions. Your numbers came up! You are now the proud owner of £70 million. You tell a few people – your mum, your dad, and your best friend. Fifteen minutes later, you get a call from your aunt. You haven’t spoken to her in years! You didn’t even realise you had her saved in your phone! You tell yourself it’s just a coincidence. Maybe someone’s died? Someone’s probably died. ‘Hello?’ ‘CongratulaaaAAAaaations!’ Damn. She asks you a few preliminary questions, draping the very thinnest of veils over the real purpose of her call. ‘You know, you really ought to give some of that money to charity.’ You try to agree enthusiastically. Really you just agree. There’s a world of difference between ‘Yes I definitely will!’ and ‘Yes I will! Definitely.’ Trust your aunt to ruin even this. This should have been the sweetest moment of your life! She couldn’t go  fifteen minutes  without foisting a mora...