BABY YOU'RE AWESOME
Imagine you hit the EuroMillions. Your numbers came up! You are now the proud owner of £70 million. You tell a few people – your mum, your dad, and your best friend. Fifteen minutes later, you get a call from your aunt. You haven’t spoken to her in years! You didn’t even realise you had her saved in your phone! You tell yourself it’s just a coincidence. Maybe someone’s died? Someone’s probably died. ‘Hello?’ ‘CongratulaaaAAAaaations!’ Damn. She asks you a few preliminary questions, draping the very thinnest of veils over the real purpose of her call. ‘You know, you really ought to give some of that money to charity.’ You try to agree enthusiastically. Really you just agree. There’s a world of difference between ‘Yes I definitely will!’ and ‘Yes I will! Definitely.’ Trust your aunt to ruin even this. This should have been the sweetest moment of your life! She couldn’t go fifteen minutes without foisting a mora...